I hardly know where to begin today. I wonder how so much can change in such a short time. One week ago things were going along fairly smoothly, and with a phone call, my life about which I was so certain is suddenly not so certain after all.
You see, I have been diagnosed with colon cancer. I had no warning, no real symptoms and I only found out what was happening through a routine colonoscopy. Yes, there is cancer in my family but not this kind. My mother and my sister have had breast cancer and I had been diagnosed with precancerous cells in my breast 22 years ago. I took the necessary steps then and I thought I was home free. A great niece was diagnosed with colon cancer over a year ago, but all the physicians tell me since she is not a primary relative, there is probably no connection. Still I wonder. Does that mean that our family carries this particular gene and what does this mean for my children and my grandchildren?
What is so frightening is the fact that the tumor is large, much larger than I would have expected. So much for catching it early. And I think about what would have happened if I had waited any longer. I was not scheduled to have this test for another year. So, I will have surgery this Friday. I have been alternating between anger and wanting to deny anything is wrong. But I know deep down I just want this thing taken out. I don't want to waste any time. Do what has to be done now. Don't wait.
I have cried and asked why. God brought me through a devastating event one year ago and I thought that was enough. Why should my family have to go through this again? They sat by my bed for weeks during the summer of '07. Now it begins again and it doesn't seem right or fair.
But go through it I will with my family by my side. And, I know that my faith will carry me as surely as it has carried me through other trials in the past. I am praying for strength for my husband, my children, my grandchildren and my congregation who I love dearly. As I pray and think I remember last Sunday at the close of worship, just before I told the church of my diagnosis, we sang I Know Whom I Have Believed and the words from the chorus come back to me me:
I know whom I have believed and am persuaded
that he is able to keep that which I've committed
unto him against that day.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Our Treasure
The community of faith where I pastor is getting ready for its annual fall Lord's Day Festival. I wish I could count the number of people who have been in my office worried that our current economic situation will seriously affect what will happen in a few short days. It seems that almost everyone is worried--some almost to the point of being paralyzed--about our nation's economic future.
Let me begin by saying one thing. I am well aware of what could happen. My parents lived through the Great Depression and I grew up hearing stories of how difficult the times were, especially for my mother's family. Even though I have not directly experienced that kind of poverty, I have experienced it vicariously through their stories. But I wonder if we haven't become so materialistic that the thought of having to cut back, prioritize, and do without is beyond our comprehension.
I have been thinking a lot about Jesus' discussion found in the gospel of Matthew where he challenges us to examine our desires and their place in our lives. (Matthew 6:19-34) Early in this discourse he says, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:21) These words of Jesus make me ask where my treasure is.
It is about faith, after all. I know that some are by nature frugal. I also know that many of us, myself included, have far too many things. We want the best food, the best clothes, the best houses, the nicest vehicles. We strive to keep up with our neighbors. We buy big screen TVs, king sized beds, the latest computers and we eat at the fanciest restaurants. Now, when we are told that our spend thrifty lives might change we panic because our treasure is found in our material goods.
I am not sure what to do about all this. I do know that my parents survived, and I suspect so will we today. What concerns me more are the millions who are already existing at a sub-poverty level. Perhaps instead of fretting, we should be trying to help. Perhaps instead of wringing our hands, we should be reaching out. Perhaps instead of holding on to our material things so tightly, we should be sharing with others. Jesus speaks to where we are now, and this is where we are. Is this his word for us today? It's just a thought.
Let me begin by saying one thing. I am well aware of what could happen. My parents lived through the Great Depression and I grew up hearing stories of how difficult the times were, especially for my mother's family. Even though I have not directly experienced that kind of poverty, I have experienced it vicariously through their stories. But I wonder if we haven't become so materialistic that the thought of having to cut back, prioritize, and do without is beyond our comprehension.
I have been thinking a lot about Jesus' discussion found in the gospel of Matthew where he challenges us to examine our desires and their place in our lives. (Matthew 6:19-34) Early in this discourse he says, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:21) These words of Jesus make me ask where my treasure is.
It is about faith, after all. I know that some are by nature frugal. I also know that many of us, myself included, have far too many things. We want the best food, the best clothes, the best houses, the nicest vehicles. We strive to keep up with our neighbors. We buy big screen TVs, king sized beds, the latest computers and we eat at the fanciest restaurants. Now, when we are told that our spend thrifty lives might change we panic because our treasure is found in our material goods.
I am not sure what to do about all this. I do know that my parents survived, and I suspect so will we today. What concerns me more are the millions who are already existing at a sub-poverty level. Perhaps instead of fretting, we should be trying to help. Perhaps instead of wringing our hands, we should be reaching out. Perhaps instead of holding on to our material things so tightly, we should be sharing with others. Jesus speaks to where we are now, and this is where we are. Is this his word for us today? It's just a thought.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Hospitality
I preached yesterday about hospitality--not just ordinary hospitality, but radical hospitality. How can we be radically hospitable? The answer is going beyond what society expects of us. Now, I was talking to the church, but I think this concept applies to all of us whether we attend a church regularly or rarely if ever darken the doors of a sanctuary.
I am old enough to remember a slower time, a time when you knew your neighbors. I grew up in a lot of different places, but in each place we soon got to know the people who lived close to us. We knew about the family down the street whose mother sometimes had a hard time telling her twins apart so they both acquired the nickname of "twinny". We heard the stories of the couple living across from us who had immigrated to this country from Denmark and of the things that led them to each other and to this United States. We knew the man down the way had been a widower with two grown sons when he fell in love and married a woman from a whole different part of the country and who had two young girls he took for his own. We laughed together, we spent time together and we reached out to each other sharing together in joys and in heartaches.
Somehow it seems that we, or at least many of us, have lost some of our capacity to reach out. There are lots of reasons--we are busy; the huge increase in working wives; the change in family dynamics; the fear few of us express. I am not downplaying any of these things. They are a fact of life and real issues for many people. But I mourn the fact that somehow it seems we have forgotten how to reach out, to take a chance, to go beyond what prudent people tell us we should do. So we keep our doors locked, and we quickly go from our fortresses to our cars and back again.
I wonder what it would be like if we took the time and made to effort to know the person next door, to reach out and develop a relationship with them. I know, I know. It takes courage. In our diversified society, our neighbors may be from another country, they may look or act very different from us. They may not speak English very well. In some places and with some people reaching out is not the wisest move. I understand all these things. But for every bad experience, I believe has to be at least one which will be a blessing.
I wonder what an impact this kind of radical hospitality might make on the world.
Pastor Jan
I am old enough to remember a slower time, a time when you knew your neighbors. I grew up in a lot of different places, but in each place we soon got to know the people who lived close to us. We knew about the family down the street whose mother sometimes had a hard time telling her twins apart so they both acquired the nickname of "twinny". We heard the stories of the couple living across from us who had immigrated to this country from Denmark and of the things that led them to each other and to this United States. We knew the man down the way had been a widower with two grown sons when he fell in love and married a woman from a whole different part of the country and who had two young girls he took for his own. We laughed together, we spent time together and we reached out to each other sharing together in joys and in heartaches.
Somehow it seems that we, or at least many of us, have lost some of our capacity to reach out. There are lots of reasons--we are busy; the huge increase in working wives; the change in family dynamics; the fear few of us express. I am not downplaying any of these things. They are a fact of life and real issues for many people. But I mourn the fact that somehow it seems we have forgotten how to reach out, to take a chance, to go beyond what prudent people tell us we should do. So we keep our doors locked, and we quickly go from our fortresses to our cars and back again.
I wonder what it would be like if we took the time and made to effort to know the person next door, to reach out and develop a relationship with them. I know, I know. It takes courage. In our diversified society, our neighbors may be from another country, they may look or act very different from us. They may not speak English very well. In some places and with some people reaching out is not the wisest move. I understand all these things. But for every bad experience, I believe has to be at least one which will be a blessing.
I wonder what an impact this kind of radical hospitality might make on the world.
Pastor Jan
Friday, August 29, 2008
Back to School
After a summer of activity, it is strangely quiet. No more children's voices next door during the middle of the day. No bicycles going up and down the sidewalk as I take my morning walk. No grandchildren calling to say "Can we come over?" School has begun and our neighborhood feels the impact. The cycle of life goes on--
As i think about the beginning of the school year, I am reminded of all the possibilities that lie ahead. Our children will be once more involved in the official learning process, although the unofficial learning process never stops. Sometimes we forget that learning, whether in the form of formal education, or in the form of life itself always goes on. I get excited when I think about this. There are so many new things we have yet to discover about who we are and how we fit into God's great creation and about creations itself.
As our children begin this school year, I pray that we teachers, families and friends, will nourish their joy of learning. I pray that we will set an example of excitement about discovery--learning a new word, a new way of doing something, learning a new skill or honing one already acquired. I pray we will help them understand that the classroom is simply a part of the learning that goes on within them all the time.. I pray we will listen to them hear their stories and then celebrate with them and sing with them. And when times are not so joyous, I pray we will hold them in their frustrations and be patient in their need to voice what is going on. I pray that we are wise enough not to give them answers so much as give them love.
I believe that we all have a part to play as our children walk into that new classroom with their backpacks full of new colors, new folders, new ideas, hopes and dreams. I for one plan to do my part--how about you?
Pastor Jan
As i think about the beginning of the school year, I am reminded of all the possibilities that lie ahead. Our children will be once more involved in the official learning process, although the unofficial learning process never stops. Sometimes we forget that learning, whether in the form of formal education, or in the form of life itself always goes on. I get excited when I think about this. There are so many new things we have yet to discover about who we are and how we fit into God's great creation and about creations itself.
As our children begin this school year, I pray that we teachers, families and friends, will nourish their joy of learning. I pray that we will set an example of excitement about discovery--learning a new word, a new way of doing something, learning a new skill or honing one already acquired. I pray we will help them understand that the classroom is simply a part of the learning that goes on within them all the time.. I pray we will listen to them hear their stories and then celebrate with them and sing with them. And when times are not so joyous, I pray we will hold them in their frustrations and be patient in their need to voice what is going on. I pray that we are wise enough not to give them answers so much as give them love.
I believe that we all have a part to play as our children walk into that new classroom with their backpacks full of new colors, new folders, new ideas, hopes and dreams. I for one plan to do my part--how about you?
Pastor Jan
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Responsibility and Politics
Welcome! As I venture into this new territory for me, I pray that I will be able to provide some food for thought. I know that you probably will never believe that a pastor would be at a loss for words, but occasionally I do run out of things to say. Nevertheless, I will try to keep this updated at least once a week. I will also try to keep my comments relevant.
Well, here goes--I had an interesting experience this last week. I was interviewed by a reporter from our local newspaper. I say interesting not because this has not happened befoe--it has, (afterall I am the only female senior pastor in town and I am still somewhat of a novelty), but because of the results of the interview. Anyway, I was asked two questions. First had I seen the political forum by Rick Warren of Saddleback Church, which I had not been able to, and second what am I looking for in a Presidential candidate. Timely subject, I thought.
I tried to be as honest as I could be without holding up one candidate over another, mostly because I know some people at least take very seriously what I say, and I personally feel that everyone has to make up their own minds about this important issue. The experience was interesting because the reporter or the editors left out the one thing I said in the interview that I really wanted to see in print, (besides my personal desire for honesty and consistancy). I said that I believe strongly that we as Christians need to be in prayer for our country and for both men who are seeking the presidency. We need to be seeking God's will, not just this year, but in every election. Then we need to put our prayers into action by registering and voting. This was not in print.
What I didn't say were the reasons I have for feeling the way I do. Perhaps I should have. As I look back over history, I have noticed that when the people cease to care, or believe that they have no say, the vacuum created allows the very worst examples to take control. We Christians have a duty to stand up and be counted. We may be on different sides of the political fence, and I personally think that is ok. But I think it is vitally important that we know the issues, prayerfully think them through, and then exercise our rights as citizens of this great nation of ours.
Maybe I am asking a lot, but then maybe it's too important not to do so.
Pastor Jan
Well, here goes--I had an interesting experience this last week. I was interviewed by a reporter from our local newspaper. I say interesting not because this has not happened befoe--it has, (afterall I am the only female senior pastor in town and I am still somewhat of a novelty), but because of the results of the interview. Anyway, I was asked two questions. First had I seen the political forum by Rick Warren of Saddleback Church, which I had not been able to, and second what am I looking for in a Presidential candidate. Timely subject, I thought.
I tried to be as honest as I could be without holding up one candidate over another, mostly because I know some people at least take very seriously what I say, and I personally feel that everyone has to make up their own minds about this important issue. The experience was interesting because the reporter or the editors left out the one thing I said in the interview that I really wanted to see in print, (besides my personal desire for honesty and consistancy). I said that I believe strongly that we as Christians need to be in prayer for our country and for both men who are seeking the presidency. We need to be seeking God's will, not just this year, but in every election. Then we need to put our prayers into action by registering and voting. This was not in print.
What I didn't say were the reasons I have for feeling the way I do. Perhaps I should have. As I look back over history, I have noticed that when the people cease to care, or believe that they have no say, the vacuum created allows the very worst examples to take control. We Christians have a duty to stand up and be counted. We may be on different sides of the political fence, and I personally think that is ok. But I think it is vitally important that we know the issues, prayerfully think them through, and then exercise our rights as citizens of this great nation of ours.
Maybe I am asking a lot, but then maybe it's too important not to do so.
Pastor Jan
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
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